Through the Fogged Lens: Of Allergies, Autopilot, and Ophthalmologists

Shower doors, let’s talk about them. For those of us without the benefit of a tankless hot water heater, they serve as a stalwart indicator that you won’t freeze when stepping across the threshold to wash the day’s problems away. The telltale fog that accumulates on the glass surface is an invitation to enter. Though you’ll likely sample the spray with your fingertips, anyway. Humans are creatures of habit.

Imagine my surprise when a familiar visual that brings comfort at the end of a long day appeared while I was driving on the interstate.

Virginia is for Pollen

I am convinced that the state slogan “Virginia is for Lovers” is an insidious attempt to hide the awful truth. In the Spring, pollen coats every acre of Virginia. It is filthy with the stuff. Virginia consistently takes the crown for the worst state for people living with allergies. Regrettably, I live in Virginia and belong to that demographic.

One fine, pollen-filled day, I was returning from dropping my daughter off at school. The drive was comfortably cushioned between peak traffic hours.

A Mote in My Eye

On this trip home, a mote of dust, or something, landed in my already itchy eye. I closed my right eye to remove the offending irritant.

The foggy shower door slammed shut in front of me. I was suddenly viewing the world through its glass. I could no longer read license plates or street signs (not even the big highway signs). Vehicles ahead cloaked out of view as if they were evading the wrath of Khan.

I quickly engaged autopilot in my car, just long enough for me to engage my now mote free right eye. The whole thing lasted a couple of seconds, but my mind embellishes. After safely parking the car at home, I ran some official “wink tests” that likely looked ridiculous had I not performed them for my sole benefit in front of a mirror. Right eye, clear. Left eye shower door. I went to the eye doctor that afternoon.

Reading, Writing, and Halos

I’m 44. I need cataract surgery. From the little that I know about cataracts, someone has always framed it as something that affects you when you are older. I did not know. Now I do.

Now that I know, I notice. I notice the halos that form when I try to read on a screen that is too bright. I notice how bad my vision is in my left eye when I close my right. In my pre-surgery consultation, the ophthalmologist asked me how my vision was in my right eye. It seems crystal clear. I’m not sure if that is because of a contrast effect bias caused by my left eye vision being vastly diminished right now, or if it actually is stellar.

The timing couldn’t be better. I have just resolved to read more widely and write every day. Reading on my phone or any other led right now is painful. I get headaches after a brief time. Halos, light sensitivity, and all.

E-Ink FTW

My current predicament has reinvigorated my daily use of my Kindle. I can read for hours without the headaches. It has also been a forcing mechanism to work through my backlog of books. If I didn’t have an e-ink device right now, my reading time would be seriously limited.

E-ink reigns supreme once again for writing. I recently received a Freewrite Gen 3. Not only does it help me focus (I drafted this article using it), I can write for longer periods without the headache that I experience on my laptop or iPad.

The one gap I still have is my beloved Readwise Reader app on my phone. I just can’t clock the reading hours on it I could prior to my left eye going the way of the shower door. I have been on the fence for a while about purchasing an e-ink tablet that can run the Readwise Reader app. With a serious context of use in mind, I’ll reconsider it. If anyone reading this has a favorite e-ink tablet, I’d love to hear about it.

Onward

I’m scheduled for surgery in a couple of months. So far, this experience has highlighted the value of forcing mechanisms and virtuous cycles. I set a goal to write daily. The headaches that are caused by the cataracts are forcing me to write more on my Freewrite (which is a joy, but still necessary). That I am writing more on my Freewrite means that I am just writing more. That I am reading more on my Kindle means I am just reading more.

I am feeling more focused. I am rediscovering why I love to write. My soul is getting the respite that I never knew it needed.