Embracing Solitude: Forming a Writing Habit for Inner Peace and Self-Discovery
The call to commit words to paper has been a relentless echo in my mind that has led to countless attempts at creating a lasting habit. I needed to experience life to understand the benefits of a writing habit. I needed the idea to simmer. Did it have to simmer for 30 years? I’m not sure, but this time feels different. Something feels right.
It is cliche to say that with age comes wisdom. So, I’ll just say with age, for me, comes perspective. I know what my soul craves. It only took 44 years.
The Soul as an Engine for Happiness
I am not a spiritual person. As a framing mechanism, I would use the term atheist to describe my stance on spirituality. Similarly, I use the term “soul” as a framing mechanism to ground my discussion with familiar terminology.
I don’t subscribe to the idea of a literal “soul,” an autonomous entity independent of the body. Perhaps, one day, I will be a good enough writer to put into words what I believe is that abstract portion of my psyche that defines and drives my foundational requirements for happiness and, by extension, living. For now, I am overloading the term “soul” to serve that purpose.
With time, my life’s necessities have become clearer. Not out of some sense of accomplishing something before I die, but as a manifestation of the thought that, there was a point in time that I just felt better. Although imprecise, “felt better” is the only explanation I have at the moment. If I search for my memories, the slice of life that I keep coming back to is high school. The first two years of high school seemed less complicated (though I may not have noticed it at the time).
If I were to use another overloaded term to describe myself, I would say I’m an introvert. The reality of that label is a “can of worms” for another day. The textbook definition of an introvert is someone who needs alone time to recharge. That’s not quite right for me.
I need alone time, or more accurately, my soul requires alone time to process thoughts that are caught in its pipeline. My soul is the engine that keeps my motivation moving.
Thoughts are always flowing. My mind originates and processes these thoughts. My body puts solutions into actions, like typing this article. None of this works without my soul to keep the entire enterprise running. Motivation to take action is my soul’s primary purpose. It provides the energy to keep the machine running.
As an introvert, human interaction drains that energy. My soul is providing the motivation to interact with someone else. It’s a worthwhile investment, but doesn’t allow for processing thoughts.. This brings the entire system to a grinding halt. For me, that means irritability, frustration, and unhappiness.
Looking back at my first two years of high school, I can see why I felt better. I relied less on others and there was nobody “depending” on me for their well-being. My social interactions were my choice. This gave my soul the freedom to manage my thought pipeline. Although I wasn’t able to appreciate this perspective, this efficiency led to an overall greater sense of happiness.
Writing as an Offload for the Soul
I’m older. I have a family. I have a vast array of thoughts in my pipeline that have increased in number and complexity. My soul needs solitude to deal with this. Not just quiet. Solitude. I don’t get that as often, but my soul needs it. This is non-negotiable, as I have grown to realize. I need to transfer my thoughts to deal with them later, given my time constraints. I don’t just mean capturing my thoughts; I want to form them into something beyond a fleeting idea.
Writing will be my tool of choice for this. Even if I don’t form fully processed thoughts, writing will help me contextualize them enough to relieve the hum of stress that I experience. Writing will offload them so that my body and mind can take action while requiring less of my soul.
I will spend my solitude writing. This time feels different. The habit will stick because, while I have always enjoyed writing, for the first time in my life, I now have a need to. Working my body and mind offers respite for my soul.
